Scabbies: The man, the myth, the legend
Before Scabbies arrived in LA for his three week stay the question looming was "Can Scabbies handle LA?" I myself was not quite sure. We are talking about a kid who has only four things in his life that he truly cares about: the Cubs, the Bears, the Bulls, and anything related to The University of Iowa. His family doesn't even make the list. That's no joke, his family is ranked #12 right behind cheeseburgers with mushrooms on them or "mushy burgers" as he likes to call them, which are ranked at #11. Scabbies surprised me, however, and now the question that continues to linger now that he is gone is "Can LA handle Scabbies?"
To start at the beginning, I can't imagine how excited Monique was to see this sight on her living room floor as she returned home on Friday night after a long week of work....
Scabbies got a good taste for what LA has to offer. LA clubs, celebrity-filled restaurants, and beach bike rides were all in the mix. Monique, as she always is, was an unbelieveable hostess for him, arranging her personal driver to take all of us around LA and even taking us to the spa for manicures and pedicures on a hungover Sunday morning. For those of you who know Scabbies, watching him sit in a chair with Asian women massaging his arms and clipping his toenails was entertaining to say the least.
I feel as though Scabbies has gone back to Chicago a more cultured person. Hanging out in Koreatown for a night eating tofu and watching Korean karaoke, celebrating the birthday of a 25 year old Arab girl with her Arab friends, and partying with 40 year old women at Skybar all contributed to Scabbies being exposed to different cultures, whatever those cultures might be.
Scabs also pushed himself physically. We did a 5 mile walk home from the bars one night because I was too stubborn and poor to get a cab, I think it just about broke him. We also did a 20 mile bike ride that almost killed him. He got injured in both of these instances, but then again, he gets injured doing just about everything.
While celebrating Ruane's 26th bday at Katana, the joke of the week became poking the person next to you, pointing at Scabbies and saying "Happiest kid ever." He certainly had every reason to be.
Not to compete with the Scabby emails, but his best quote was, when referring to my giving strippers money at the strip club, "Don't lay it out there like it's dog food, man. Make them work for it."
I've known Scabbies since the 4th grade. You don't find loyal friends like him around every corner. It was great having him out in Tinseltown. Can Scabbies handle LA? Yes, it's clear he can. Can LA handle Scabbies? I think the verdict is still out. TM
posted by Toastmaster @ 7:43 PM
4 Comments:
i've been reading this blog for a few days now and i feel as if my life will never be complete unless i read these scabby emails. :(
give the people what they want Scabbies, bring on the emails!
Hey guys, I forgot to mention a couple things Scabbies told me when he was in LA. He told me that when we used to go over to Little Billy's house and would see Billy's dad laying on the couch with two feet hung over the side of the couch, one sock on, and food crumbs all over his big hairy belly, Scabs said that for some reason it used to make him a little bit horny. Not sure why, it sounds pretty gross to me. He also said in college if he was in a crowded bar and really had to take a piss he would just act like he was talking on a cell phone and lean up against the bar and take a piss. By the end of college, he said, he was getting so lazy that he would just piss his pants and not even care.
ratty... i donno, your description of little billys dad is getting me kinda hot. But that peeing thing... jesus scabbies, nothing is more uncool than a guy talking on a cell phone in a bar.
But other than that, Scabbies is my HERO :) bring on the emails!
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