In The Ends

"We only want to be free. And as funny as it sounds it's all we want. To not have our egos bound with the rays of suns. Because man should be free as falling rain. To find what he loves even if it's pain" - The Growlers

Saturday, February 18, 2006

In The Ends is the Vision of The Beginnings

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going
along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things
about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start
feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but
then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those
friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the
greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch
with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is
that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean
or insincere but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job...and it is not even close to what you thought
you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing
that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and
find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize
that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly
adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.

One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and
cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared
and confused.

Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past
with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and
further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or
move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do
such damage to you. Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet
anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you
love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you
are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.
One-night-stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting
wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk
with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to
make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a
life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right
now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it.
We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as
we can to figure this whole thing out.

Send this to your twenty-something friends... maybe it will help
someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion? "I
bend but I do not break."

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