A Great Day in My Life

I finally figured it out. I have been working at this consistently and tirelessly over the last 5 months, and today, Tuesday, December 19, 2006 I finally figured it out.

It's not really about the type of hair gel you use, though a strong product with a firm hold is important. It's not about the amount of product you use; using a handful of hair gel won't be any more productive for you than a quick squirt. I have also come to learn that wearing a baseball hat in the morning to hold your hair in place until it dries may help, but overall will not allow your hair to stay put throughout the whole day. And wearing sunglasses on your head at the end of the day doesn't really work either, although it does look cool. I realized today, after constant trial and error for the last 5 months, that the best way to keep your hair looking wet and slicked back like a slime-ball grease-ball for the whole day at work is to make sure your hair is fairly wet when you put the hair gel in your hair in the morning. If you shake the towel on your head vigorously until your hair is only damp, this won't work. Instead, lightly pat your head when you get out of the shower so that your hair is still fairly wet. Then use a normal amount of hair gel and slick your hair straight back. You don't need anything to hold it in place, the wet hair and gel will stick together and create a bond similar to a a mother's bond with her newborn child and your hair won't fall down even when you bend down to brush your teeth. When the water evaporates from your hair, your hair will remain in place for the entire day. It is 5:30pm and I look like I just got out of the shower. All the girls in the office say it looks gross and they liked it more the other way, but I know what that really means; they think it's sexy and I look like a badass.

So that's it. Keep your hair very wet when you add the gel. Then the rest of the day is yours to be as awesome as you want to be.